Friday, October 30, 2009

I am not afraid of killer squirrels!!!

You all know I LOVE to bark at squirrels. Well, not long ago, my BFF (bloggy feisty feline) Ali Z. warned me about KILLER RUSSIAN SQUIRRELS that attacked and killed a dog who was barking at them, but my mom's been too busy to blog about it until now. So, Miss Ali was very kindly worried about my safety, so I told her that if I was afraid of a stupid squirrel, I would have to turn in my Dog Card.

But dis guy who's taken to frequenting MY yard, has mom (not me, MOM!) thinking that he looks suspiciously similar to to the alleged perpetrator in the news photo. And I know it's hard to tell in a photo, but dis guy is the biggest squirrel I've ever seen!!!

So mom (again, not ME!) was daydreaming about some doggie chain-mail or some kind of suit of armor, just in case dis squirrel was one of those evil, killing kind. And we found some! But the bad news is, IT COMES IN SQUIRREL SIZES TOO!!! (scroll down to see!)

I'm not afraid. No sir-ee! NO self-respecting terrier would EVER be afraid of a tree-rat squirrel!!! They just better not start playing King Arthur wiff me in MY yard... Maybe I should get that suit of armor just in case...???

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Ask Cloud

Hello, furiends! It's time fur Ask Cloud.

My dear furiend Max asks, WHEN are you going to upgrade to a CAT chaser?

Max, I really can't see upgrading any time soon, because it's technically impossible fur me to CHASE A CAT. You'll understand when you read my reply to 'You Know Who'...

Tank want's to know, how did I get to be so smart?

Tank, it's no secret how gosh darned smart us dawgs are. In my case, blogging, writing poetry, and strategizing squirrel skirmishes give my noggin all the brain pushups it needs to stay fit. Thanks fur the compliment, dude!

Twix asks, What would you do with one of those tree rats once you caught it?

Well Twix, I plan to grab him by the back of the neck so the little twerp can't bite me. After that, I'm pretty much going to play it by ear. There are so many possibilities - I could shake him, toss him, jump on him, paw him... Maybe even take him out fur a drink after, if he turns out to be a nice enough fellow and forgives the whole 'trying to break his neck' thing...
Thanx fur writing, Twix

The incomparable Miss Ali Zophia is wondering, "Since Max and Khyra seem to think you should Chase cats, if you were to corner me, what would you do to me? or Boomer?

Now Miss Ali, I have one reason and one reason ONLY to run up to a cat... (and please note - if a cat sees me run up to it, and decides to run away from me, the CAT is the one initiating the so-called chasing, NOT me!) it's because I want to PLAY wiff you guys!!! I always stick my butt in the air, wag my tail, give a friendly bark, and do a little dance around the kitty... It's not my fault that you guys can't figure out I'm saying "LETS PLAY!!!" As a species, you cats really need to work on your communication skills. In fact, you might not even understand what I'm saying right now...? I will try to talk your language then: I will sit down, make that weird growly sound in my throat, hold my tail still, blink my eyes slowly, and practice looking 'disdainful'... heeheehee! Thanks fur writing Miss Ali, it's always so lovely to hear from you. And don't furget everyone, to check out Ali's column on Tuesdays. It's more fun than a bathtub full of squirrels!

Well, that's all fur Ask Cloud this week. Mom is thinking about changing it to every other week, or once a month, at least fur a while. (She's super busy until Christmas.) But feel free to leave a question anytime, and I'll answer it in the next Ask Cloud segment.

I luv you guys!

And remember:
~Do your part, bark at a squirrel!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Dis my smiley picture fur Dory's contest

My sweet furiend Dory is having a smiley contest! There are LOTS of great smiley pictures over on her blog, it makes me and mom so happy to see all the smiley doggie faces.

Dis is my entry. I am smiling cuz I luv my mom, and also cuz she let me have a little bit of yogurt and I liked it!


Monday, October 19, 2009

It's Monday, time fur Ask Cloud

Hi everyone! Another week has flown by, and it's time once again fur Ask Cloud.

My wonderful pal Max wants to know: As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

I'm not sure what you mean by "outsider," Max. Do you mean to tell me I'm not one of them??? I refuse to believe that! Just because I'm the only member of dis family that poos in the yard, doesn't mean that I'm on the outside, buddy! Ok, when I'm in the yard I AM outside, but that's not what I meant. Or is it? I'm confused now...
(I'm going to ask mom to put peanut butter in my Kong, and ponder this fur a while.)

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly ask: Do you enjoy being the only child, or would you be open to brothers and sisters?

Hi guys, that's actually a hard question. On the one paw, it would be fun to have a brother or sister to play wiff, but on the other that would mean I have to share my mom. I don't do very well wiff sharing my mom, or seeing her pet or hold other doggies. MY MOM BELONGS TO ME!!! It's bad enough that she gives preferential treatment to Boomer, eish!

Sista' moonshine says Talker and Banners wonder why they can't have their own blog. What more do they want? They have Dogster, and that takes up all mom's time.

Sista', Dogster is super pawsome, that's fur sure! I've made so many wonderful online furiends there, it really is a great place. But you know Talker and Banners would luv to get a chance to blog. Especially Talker, since he has a lot to say. You could give it shot, (you know how much fun it is to blog, since you have a great one) and see what happens. Even if they only get a chance to blog once a week or so, they will have a lot of fun, and make new furiends in the blogging world. And you really don't need all that sleep Sista', surely you can find an extra half-hour or two here and there to help them type and upload pictures, BOL!

Well, that's all the questions fur dis week. Thank you so much guys!

Have a great week, and remember:
Do your part, bark at a squirrel!


Thursday, October 15, 2009

As a peace offering to cats everywhere, I dedicate dis post to Boomer

So some of you might have the impression that I don't like cats. Dis is not true! I LOVE cats and am always so happy to see them. I jump around and bark my happy greetings and stick my butt in the air to try to get them to play wiff me. I don't understand why they don't like me???

So dis our cat Boomer, AKA The Queen of the Universe. Dis her normal look. She thinks she's better than everyone. The only time she is happy is when she kicks me off mom's lap. Otherwise, she is in a perpetual state of grouchiness. I don't know why mom puts up wiff her. Mom says that being 16 years old, she's earned the right to be as grouchy as she wants. Hmmm...she said that when she was 15, 14, 13, 12, 11....

Mom says she has cute feet. Dis is just more proof of moms weird thing for pets feet. I don't like her feet cuz sometimes she smacks me on the head wiff them fur no reason at all!

See dis grouchy face? Dis what I have to live wiff EVERY DAY! I know, right?

Hey wait, who's dat on the computer behind you Miss Boomer??? BOL! BOL! BOL!

Uh oh! She knows where I sleep...

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's Monday, time fur Ask Cloud

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend.

Our first question fur Ask Cloud comes from my good buddy Max in South Africa. Max wants to know Do I snore?

Hi Max, I DO NOT snore! And even if I did, I'm sure mom would think it was super cute, so I have no fear of getting kicked out of the bed and made to sleep on the floor. Every once in a while I bark at squirrels in my sleep, though. But guess what??? Boomer snores sometimes, BOL! Oh, and I luv your suggestion about finding a way to store frozen squirrels in winter. You're so clever, Max!

The OP Pack asked where I got my name. You can find the answer here, it was actually my very first Ask Cloud question. Thanks guys, I'm glad you love my name! :-)

Dory wants to know If I have a specific Squirrel Chasing Technique?

Well Miss Dory, I like to employ the Bark, Run, Jump technique, where first you Bark and Run as fast as you can, and when they scurry up a tree you switch to the Bark-Jump Method. However, I'm starting to think I need to switch things up a bit, now that Squirrel Terrorism is at an all time high. Let me know if you have any suggestions. Thanks fur writing, you little cutie pie!

Hoover asks: When I wake up in the morning I need 2 things, a tummy rub and IMMEDIATELY after the tummy rub I need to go outside. The humans oblige the tummy rub but then dwadle about before opening the door to the outside! Why don't they rush out of bed and open the door?

Hoover. Buddy! It's MOST understandable that you would have to go outside after a belly rub first thing in the morning! Ok, now we know your humans are good people, it just seems like they have other things on their minds at that moment. You need to play the sympathy card here. Obviously if they understood what you were going through, it wouldn't be an issue. Here's what you do:

First, you need to learn how to lock the bathroom doors without your humans seeing you. Then you go play wiff dem until they have to pee. "Oh dear! The bathroom doors are locked!" Soon they start dancing around in urgency while trying to figure out how to unlock the door. PAY ATTENTION! Learn the moves to dis dance! The very next day, while the incident is still fresh in their minds, do the EXACT SAME DANCE after your wake-up belly rub. They should immediately understand and say, "Poor baby, lets get you outside!" Problem solved! Let me know how it goes.

A very nice lady named tlksimpson asked Is my intelligence nature or nurture...I'm thinking both.

Well now, you are correct in assuming it's both. Rat Terriers are highly intelligent little dogs. It says so on the internets. My mom is also very supportive of my intellectual growth, as you can see from her letting me have my own blog, as well as letting me indulge in my favorite problem solving activities such as squirrel chasing and Hide-a-Squirrel.

And finally, my second favorite grouchy kitty Miss Ali Z implied after my poem last week that she had never seen a dog help wash the dishes OR drive a car and she would love to see it. Well Miss Ali, I have pictures to prove it!

Here you can clearly see dat I am helping mom wash the dishes. Lots of dogs do it! If cats didn't think everything was all about them, maybe they would help out around the house instead of lying around making dust bunnies all day.

And here is a picture of me driving the car:

I'm sure you're going to say there's no way I'm driving cuz I can't reach the pedals, and also it looks like we're just sitting in the driveway, BUT IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING, ALI!

I think I've made my case.

Don't furget to check out Ali Z. on Stella's blog every Tuesday!

That's all fur Ask Cloud dis week. Thanks fur your questions, everyone!

And remember ~ Do your part, bark at a squirrel!


Saturday, October 10, 2009


Look what I woke up to dis morning!

Mom says dis snow is way early - last year it didn't snow til November 30th!

Dis my T-Rex impression. RAWR!

Even though it's cold, and I have a nekkid belly, and the snow kept falling on me, I still had to go on Squirrel Patrol and make my rounds fur to secure the area.

Dis area is secure!

I'm like the mailman - not snow, nor sleet, nor rain, nor hail, will stop Cloud from chasing the bushy tail. BOL! The War Against Squirrels stops fur no snows. And no nekkid bellies!

All my moms flowers are toast. On top of dis snow, it's supposed to be very, very cold tonight. She is sad about her flowers, so I will give her lots of kisses today.

Stay warm, everyone!


Friday, October 9, 2009

In which I Write a Poem About Stuff to Do...

Dis brand new day,
Is yours and mine.
Dis brand new day,
What will we find?

A squirrel to chase?
A dog to sniff?
Some rabbit poo
lying in a ditch?

Should I bark at the mailman,
Or the guy on a bike?
Play in the backyard,
Or maybe take a hike?

I could help my mom
work in the yard,
wash the dishes
and drive the car.

Dis brand new day
of stuff to do,
I'm so excited,
I hope you are too!


Monday, October 5, 2009

It's Monday, time fur Ask Cloud

Hi pups, kitties, humans, and any other critters out there! I hope you had a great week. It's time once again fur Ask Cloud. So many good questions!

First off, is a question from my second favorite grouchy kitty. You will find out who is my first favorite in a moment.

Ali Z. wants to know, How many squirrels have I actually caught in the last two weeks?

Well now Miss Ali, I'll tell you - I've caught EXACTLY the same amount of squirrels in the last two weeks that I've caught in the last 8 years - NONE!!! I think this fact truly shows my strength of character and exceptional level of dedication. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!! I will continue to bark and chase, to keep my family and the rest of the world safe from these evil creatures. If you really cared about others Miss Ali, I would suggest that you do your part in this war. Are you a citizen of the world Miss Ali? We're all in dis together!

My buddy Max wants to know, Who is my favorite fur friend (not in cyberspace)?

Well Maxdog, it used to be my brother Benny. He went to the Bridge early this year at the age of 14. It made us all so sad. He thought I was a pest, but I'm sure it was all an act. I mean, what dog WOULDN'T love me taking their toys, bossing them around, and humping them every morning??? I miss him so...!

These days, my favorite fur friend is our cat H.R.H. Boomer, The Queen of the Universe. She is 16 years old, and she holds the Heavyweight title in Supreme Grouchiness. Dis is why I have no fear of Miss Ali Z. Since Benny has become an angel, me and Boomer are for real, kinda sorta furiends! We share mom's lap, and sometimes she even lies on top of me as long as I'm under a blanket, BOL! Sometimes she will sniff my eyes and be nice, other times she will walk right up to me and smack me across the face! I never know what to expect from her. I love her so...!

The Munchkins want to know, How did I ever get to be so stinkin' cute????

Well you two, I come by it honestly. As you can see, I was born dis way. And over the years the cuteness has only increased, to the extent that I have the power to turn my mom into a babbling idiot at any given moment. I try to use my powers only fur good. It's part of the Wonderdog Code.

All your nice comments last week about my moms work made her blush. Thank you! :-)
Twix asks how much does she charge to do a painting of a dog.

Well Twix, it depends on how big the painting is (the bigger the painting, the longer it takes), and things like if there is more than one dog, and if there is a lot of detail in the background. To give you an idea, an 8 x 10" head pose of one dog with a simple background is 180.00 US dollars. Quality work can take a lot of time, and when it's all said and done, artists make a lot less per hour then most people think. But mom loves to paint dogs and make people happy. She would be happy to answer any questions you would have. You can email her any time.

Thank you all fur your questions. If anyone has a questions fur me, I will answer in next weeks Ask Cloud.

Have a pawsome day, and remember: do your part - bark at a squirrel!


Thursday, October 1, 2009

In Which I Write a Poem About Squirrels...

squirrel, squirrel in a tree

squirrel, squirrel

why you torture me?

your evil ways

will not stand,

you will never

rule dis land!

at your antics

i will bark,

i will chase you

from dawn til dark.

and when the squirrels are in they’re place

never daring to show their face,

the world will cheer cuz it’s been saved

and i really look forward to my ticker-tape parade!

until that day comes at last,

i will run and chase so fast.

striking terror in your heart,

cuz my squirrel-fighting skills are state of the art.

by Cloud